Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s – a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.
I’m not trying to stir more panic, this isn’t me freaking out. But as tumblr has been constantly nuking NSFW visibility in new and annoying ways on a worryingly regular basis. Not just what’s happened in the last couple of days, but all the way back since tumblr sold to yahoo many moons ago.
I think NSFW content creators who primarily operate out of tumblr, especially relying on their follower base here for work, should collectively decide on a place to migrate to and encourage our followers to find us there!
But why is this a big deal?
If you don’t already know, losing the ability to search for ANY NSFW in the master search is going to be a pain in the ass, not just for creators, but for consumers. If you’re reading this post, it’s probably because you follow an NSFW content creator, so obviously you like being able to see porn, right?????????????
Creators already know why this is garbage, but as a consumer:
It means no more browsing porn tags to find new things to jerk off to. You better have a secret shame tumblr with a ton of nasty reblogs and you better be following every single NSFW artist or porn gif blog you consume content from already because good fucking luck finding any of that stuff now!!!!
Even if some of these things get fixed, myself and a lot of my artist friends who also primarily operate out of tumblr think it’s not worth seeing if this will be fixed, as a lot of the changes to NSFW visibility in the past have been deliberate and permanent.
So let’s collect and share suggestions. Twitter is a popular one, but it isn’t very image gallery friendly. It’s also somewhat not NSFW friendly either.
Newgrounds has been suggested to me a few times too, but I haven’t seen a lot of artists saying they have accounts there yet.
Hentai Foundry might be an option, though myself and most artists I know either don’t use it or hate it, and their screening system is horribly bias. But at least it’s for NSFW specifically.
I’m tired of panicking, let’s just go somewhere that works better instead?
Pillowfort is an option as well
its a Tumblr-like platform (specifically designed to be like tumblr, but based on common complaints for years now)
theyre actively NSFW friendly too which is a huge plus.
Only downside is, its still in Beta. You either have to manually subscribe to their email list and wait to be invited, or i think you can literally send them a few bucks to join. So its userbase is likely small atm. but from a functionality POV, it matches all the best aspects of Tumblr and more, so its worth supporting EARLY if we can, and now it a great time to do so.
Waterchicken-afterdark 